Friday, November 20, 2009

responsibility

Why is it hard to be responsible? Why is it that most days I would rather spend time taking walks, reading a book, playing the piano, baking cupcakes, learning to sew, coming up with new entrepreneurial ideas, running along the coast, vacationing on the beach or even cleaning the bathroom? Lately, I haven't felt the desire to do anything I'm supposed to be doing. Work feels monotonous, and I generally like my job, it's just something I don't want to do right now. Errands seem like a pain, and like work, there's nothing horrible about them, I just don't want to do them. Why the bad attitude? Why the lack of motivation? Again, why is it hard to be responsible?

I'm not really sure, but I do know responsibility is something that's going to follow me around forever so I had better learn to like it. I guess it's a 'rites of passage' thing. Becoming an adult, becoming an employee, becoming someone's spouse, becoming a parent (not there yet)-the responsibility tag is attached to all of these. Especially that last one, if I feel I have a lot of responsibility now, I can't imagine what a baby would do. A child seems like the best kind of responsibility though, after a spouse. Enjoyable responsibility. Those of you with children may disagree, but I'm an outsider looking in.

Anyway, it's Friday, and I am happy for that. Plus, Thanksgiving is around the corner. A few days of non-responsibility await and I get to see my family. Ultimately, I'm grateful to be where I'm at thus far in life. When I think about it, responsibility allows for freedom. Work and everything else that seem drudgish, make the other things I want possible, and so much better.

Good thing I have a wonderful husband who supports me and good thing I can escape to places like this in my mind whenever I want:

Ahhh....just looking at that makes me feel better already.

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